For some reason, the biggest concern of most American kids is being popular. This is especially true when they reach their teens, as my brother has this year. He’s an 8th grader and is more than a little concerned about his lack of popularity in his school. Fortunately he’s big, smart, relatively good-looking, and a very good athlete (baseball and basketball). But he hit puberty early, just like I did, and looks/feels a bit awkward. And the fact that he still has a slight speech-impediment doesn’t help his cause either. Still, I think he has a very good chance of being at least relatively popular in high school.
Why do I even care? Isn’t popularity in high school only a concern for idiot American kids who don’t realize that life doesn’t end senior year? Well yes, it is! And ,honestly, I don’t think being popular in school is all that important. In fact, I’ve tried telling my brother this many times. But, like most older siblings and parents, I don’t want him to be miserable in school. I was just popular enough in high school to have really enjoyed my 4 years there and I would like for him to have a similar experience.
So anyway, I did some research on “How to be popular†and I think I found some pretty good recommendations. I invite anyone to share them with their favorite teenager. (Note: Most of these ideas work well into old age as well!)
How to Be Popular
The meek may inherit the earth, but high school will still belong to the popular people. Want to be one of them? It doesn’t mean you have to change who you are or what you care about, but you may have to challenge yourself in ways you never considered before. If you decide you’d like to jumpstart your life and become popular, here are some steps to help you reach your goal. See you at the prom!
Steps
1. Evaluate the reasons why you want to become popular. Are you just trying to impress other people, and be accepted into a certain clique, or are you trying to make more friends and improve your enjoyment in life? You won’t have much success or happiness unless you are doing it for the right reasons.
2. Be comfortable with yourself. This is the most important quality you can have. If you like yourself and present a confident image, it will be much easier to have others see that and want to be around you. Once you are okay with being alone and happy with who you are, it’ll be easier to make friends.
3. Be assertive and outgoing. Friends aren’t just going to throw themselves at you, especially not if you’ve had a not-so-popular image for years. Even if you are naturally shy, you’re going to have to come out of your shell a little bit and put yourself in social situations. Don’t be afraid to go and sit at a new table at lunch, or strike up a conversation with the person next to you in study hall. Avoid thinking about whether or not you’re “cool†enough to talk to a certain person, rather, let that person see why they should want to talk to you.
4. Get involved. One of the easiest ways to meet people is to participate in school activities, such as athletic teams, community service projects, or artistic groups. Being part of a group automatically fosters some formation of relationships, and can give you the added confidence you need to feel popular. Don’t be worried about whether a certain group is cool or not; choose something that fits your interests and talents, and eventually people will recognize you for the good qualities you have. You don’t need to be a cheerleader or football player to be popular.
5. Create your style. While many of the popular kids may wear the same kinds of clothes and have the same haircuts, this does not mean that simply changing these things about yourself will make you popular. Don’t go overboard with style changes, as it will only make you look like you are trying too hard. Instead, look at your hair and clothing as a chance to present yourself in the best light. Maybe a new, shorter haircut will help you to show off your eyes and smile, or that fashionable pair of jeans is just the confidence booster you’ve been looking for. A change can be a powerful thing. Tailor the latest trends to your own ideas, and put forth an image that makes you feel good.
6. Take pride in your appearance. If you’re trying to attract people to you, being clean is a definite plus. Showering every day, as well as using deodorant and cleaning your ears, etc, is an easy way to maintain yourself as someone people won’t mind being around. Washing your face regularly is also recommended, as it will be important to put your best face forward, and acne can definitely bring down your confidence level. For girls, makeup can be an option.
7. Jump in the pool. Or do something else unexpected. What this means is, sometimes to get yourself noticed, you may have to put yourself out there in ways you hadn’t considered. Maybe this means going up and talking to the girl no one else will, or dancing crazily at the next formal. Let yourself go. You’ll be surprised how good it can make you feel, and how people respect a person who goes against the crowd and does what s/he wants. Make sure you don’t just become a ‘novelty’ who amuses others with his/her antics, however.
8. Develop relationships. As you begin to meet people, don’t just treat them as items on a checklist. Find out what they like to do, their interests, and learn about them as people. You’re trying to make friends, not just be known. Also, be sure to keep in touch with your old friends—you don’t want them to think you’ve forgotten about them just because you’re making new ones. Don’t exclude anyone.
9. Don’t think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else. If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Just continue to believe in yourself, and it won’t be long before others follow your lead.
Tips
* Not everyone is going to like you. Be able to accept that and, if necessary, talk to the person about it. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, just handle the situation with respect and courtesy.
* Talk to your parents about the changes you are making in your life, and explain to them your reasoning. They are likely to be concerned that their child is acting differently.
* Be a good student. It is a common misperception that if you’re doing well in school, you’re a nerd. You can be popular and keep a high grade point average.
* Leave some time just for you. Once you are popular, you may be busy with a lot of friends and activities. Make sure you still have time to be alone and reflect.
* One rule that worked for me was “never be embarassed”. Embarassement shows weakness. It’s ok to show emotions, but not weakness! Let those awkward moments pass you by like their nothing but another era of your life!
Warnings!
Don’t do dangerous/stupid things in order to become popular, such as smoking, drinking, drunk driving, or illegal drugs. You’ll only be putting yourself at risk, and none of these things will make people think you are cool
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